How do I understand my racial identity?

I'm black and I have many white friends. It doesn't bother me at all until I get around a lot of other black people or around certain family members. Sure some joke around with me saying I'm an "Oreo." But it really gets to me. I'm tired of people saying "acting white" or "acting black" or "the man keeps putting the black man down." It doesn't take long for race to come up in a conversation with some people. And that's when I really feel out of my element. I know no race is perfect. But I feel like where blacks are now is nowhere near what Dr. King was fighting for. Maybe I'm too emotional about it, but everyday I still wake up black.

For instance, I love all types of music, including rock, classical and country music. And these are some reactions: 1. Why am I listening to that "white people music"? and 2. I feel out of place if I don't know one of the latest rap songs. It's little things like this that just make me want to wish there weren't any races. But races and different cultures are beautiful and so much can be learned. I'm happy and comfortable with myself, but not my race as a whole. And on some days, it really gets me down to a point where I just cry. Am I just chasing an insatiable dream?


If I don't take birth control pills at exactly the same time am I unprotected?

I have two questions, first: On my birth control pill box instructions it says to take a pill each day at ABOUT the same time. I was wondering, does this mean that I should set an alarm to make sure I take it the exact minute every day (which is what I've been doing) or can I take it within a couple of hours difference if I decide to sleep in on Saturday?

Secondly: My doctor told me that if I miss a pill to consider myself unprotected for that month. However, after I left I realized that in biology class we learned that a ovum (or egg) can only survive a few days inside the fallopian tubes and uterus and then it get absorbed into the body (or dies). If I missed a pill then wouldn't I only be unprotected for the next couple of days (if an egg was produced in the 24 hr period that I didn't take the pill) instead of the whole month?


Can I take birth controls pills as emergency contraception?

Is there any way for a woman to combine her birth control pills to get the same effect as PCC (post-coital contraception)? If so, what is the dosage? For example, could I take three or four or even all of my birth control pills at once in order to get the same effect? I need to know the answer: How many pills will equal one PCC dosage? Please tell me because otherwise I'm going to take the whole month's worth at once.


How can I deal with disapproval of my interracial relationship?

My question is about interracial relationships. I came here from a really small town, very conservative — well, you get the idea. Now, my second week in, I met the most wonderful man. Only he is black. We have been dating now for over a year. He treats me wonderfully but I still get odd looks from people and my parents really don't approve.

I told them it shouldn't matter what color his skin is if I love him, but their small town values seem to say otherwise. How can I cope with the odd looks and my parents without losing my man?


Why does my boyfriend have difficulty orgasming with a condom?

After being on birth control pills for the past two-and-a-half years, I stopped taking them because of side-effects. Since going off the pill, my boyfriend and I have been using condoms with an additional spermicide. The problem is that he is having a difficult time having an orgasm. He says that the condoms do not provide him with enough stimulation to be able to ejaculate. As a result of this dilemma, our sex life has become almost non-existent.

Could it be the type of condoms that we are using? We're using latex condoms. What can we do? Our sex life is riding on this!


Will starting and stopping the pill increase my risk for cancer?

I have been on the pill for over a year now. Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. We still see each other, but I have not had sex since we broke up. I don't plan on having sex with anybody else. My question is, if I don't plan on having sex for a long while, should I stop the pill? I am afraid that if I decide to get back on the pill, I will have an increased risk of cancer or something like that. Is this true?